How to Help a Friend
Whether you are worried about a friend, family member, teammate, or colleague, there are many ways to support someone you care about.
It is important to respond sensitively to someone who seems troubled.
Tips for talking about mental health
- KNOW YOUR LIMITS, you are not a trained professional, but can be there for your friend/loved-one.
- Set aside time with no distractions. It’s important to provide an open and non-judgemental space with no distractions.
- Let them share as much or as little as they want. Let them lead the discussion at their own pace. Don’t put pressure on them to tell you anything they aren’t ready to talk about. Talking can take a lot of trust and courage.
- DO NOT try to diagnose them with a mental illness or second guess their feelings.
- Keep questions open ended like, “How have you been feeling lately?” instead of “I can see you are feeling very low”. Try to keep your language neutral and give the person time to answer and try to not grill them with too many questions.
- Talk about self-care. Talk about ways to destress or practicing self-care and ask if they have found anything that has helped in the past.
- Listen to them. Repeat what they say back to them to ensure you have understood it. You do not have to agree with what they are saying, but by showing you understand how they feel, you are letting them know you respect their feelings.
- Offer them help in seeking professional support. This can be your team’s athletic trainer if they are your teammate, a counselor who they have seen before, a new counselor, or offer them other resources that they can talk to someone who is a health care professional.
- KNOW YOUR LIMITS.
What if they are reluctant to seek help?
- Tell them you care
- Acknowledge and discuss your friend’s oncers about seeking help.
- Understand that your friend’s defensive behavior may be based on their feelings and is not directed at you.
- Look for signs that your friend is reaching out for help.
- Don’t be discouraged! Remember that it is up to your friends to make a change, and you can’t do that for them.
If you think someone you know may be considering suicide:
- Take all comments about suicide seriously, including those on social media
- Ask directly “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”
- If the answer is "yes” you should bring your friend to the emergency room or call 911 immediately.
- Listen to the person and let them know you care while avoiding any judgement.
- Refer them to professional help. NAU counseling Services offers “Walk-In” appointments.
- DO NOT ignore comments about suicide or self-harm made on social media sites. Treat the threat or comment made on-line the same way you would in-person.
You don’t have to help your friend on your own. Encourage them to speak to someone in a professional role. If they are a part of NAU athletics, their athletic trainer has many resources to help them as well.
For more information:
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/supporting-someone-mental-health-problem,
https://in.nau.edu/campus-health-services/mental-health-resources/
